Friday, 13 November 2015

When life doesn't go to plan

Baby sensory classes, swimming lessons, baby massage, getting back into shape(well any other shape than the current one which pretty much resembles that of an orange)afternoons spent happily, comfortably and confidently breastfeeding in cafes with mummy friends. House work done, laundry always sorted, house always clean and tidy, routine, structure, schedule...The perfect family... WRONG!!!!!
Maternity leave hasn't quite gone to plan. Whilst I knew having a baby during the summer holidays would turn summer into one big blur, I also knew that once September came and I could instill structure and routine, things would be lovely, bliss if you like but that really hasn't been the case. With my eldest son in his final year of primary school I have done 13 school tours at 11 schools across three boroughs. We've had my mother-in-law in intensive care for two weeks, a baby who is back-and-forth at the baby clinic because her weight gain has been in the words of her paediatrician 'sub optimal', a leaky roof that has been a disaster to get sorted, a new street door and frame being fitted, a cooker that broke down and was repaired only for my husband to smash the top of the cooker at the very next day and a seriously stroppy teenage daughter.
This isn't quite what I had planned. 
 It's hard to believe that in just 5 months my maternity leave will be over and I will be leaving my adorable baby and going back to work. If I could rewind the time I would go back to the beginning when baby was first born and start all over again but I can't so moving forward I guess I have to be realistic and roll with the punches as it were.
It's so easy to let things get on top of you, overwhelm you and make you forget exactly why and who you are doing all of this for which is definitely what has happened to me.
So after a few deep breaths (and more than a few cursewords), I refuse to let things defeat me. I am going to have a long soak in the bath reevaluate everything and get right back on track.
I look at my kids and I know that despite my off days or weeks, I'm doing something right and I need to keep doing it for them.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

M xx

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